Our mind is a fascinating machine. It keeps us safe, yet can also seriously harm us. Our mind creates thoughts, which then may produce feelings such as anxiety or worry. This anxiety and worry serve an evolutionary purpose to help keep us safe and plan for the future, but too much of it can actually cause harm.
How can we tell if our thoughts are causing harm? How can I tell if my mind is playing tricks on me?
Luckily, someone many years ago determined that humans have some common thought distortions or twisted thoughts. Let’s break these down and determine which one you relate to the most.
All-or-Nothing Thinking / Polarized Thinking
This is also known as “Black and White Thinking,” this twisted thought is not being able to see any shades of grey or middle ground. You are only able to view the extremes, such as “I am the worst parent in the world, OR, I am the best parent in the world.” In other words, you are either perfect or a total failure – neither of which are possible.
Overgeneralization
This twisted thought is a sneaky one. If a person makes a poor grade on an exam, she may apply that poor grade to the rest of her life and think, “I am stupid and a failure.” Overgeneralizing can lead to overly negative thoughts about yourself and your environment based on only one or two experiences.
Mental Filter
This twisted thought is similar to overgeneralization. When mental filtering occurs, the person can only focus on one negative event and ignores the multitude of positive events that likely negate the negative one. For example, suppose my husband complains about the house being messy. In that case, I may use a mental filter and only focus on his complaining. I may then determine that he never appreciates me, he is an awful human, and we aren’t meant for each other. Never mind that the house is actually messy and that he recently praised me for parenting with patience. The mental filter can create a very pessimistic view of the world by focusing only on the negative.
Disqualifying the Positive
On the flip side, the “Disqualifying the Positive” thought acknowledges positive experiences but rejects them instead of embracing them.
For example, when I receive a compliment, I usually determine that the person is being polite or wants something from me and truly doesn’t mean it. This is an especially destructive thought because it can lead to continuous negative thoughts, even when the evidence strongly suggests otherwise.
I now challenge you to catch your twisted thoughts throughout the day. Next in Part 2, let’s explore more common twisted thoughts.