We recently explored four popular twisted thoughts. I hope you were able to catch a few throughout your day and notice how this awareness affects you. Let’s continue to increase our awareness by exploring more common twisted thoughts.
Jumping to Conclusions
Mind Reading: Without checking it out, you jump to the conclusion that someone is reacting negatively to you. For example, I may see a stranger with an unpleasant expression and then jump to the conclusion that they are thinking something negative about me, when in fact they may be having a serious bout of bad gas.
Fortune Telling: Fortune-telling refers to the tendency to predict the future based on little to no evidence, yet behaving as if it is the truth. This can create severe unnecessary anxiety. One example of fortune-telling is a young, single woman predicting that she will never find love based only on the fact that she has not found it yet. There is simply no way for her to know how her life will turn out, but she sees this prediction as fact rather than one of several possible outcomes.
Magnification or Minimization
This false belief is similar to looking through a pair of binoculars. It can secretly change your perspective by exaggerating or minimizing the meaning, importance, or likelihood of things.
For example, an athlete who is generally a good player but makes a mistake may magnify the importance of that mistake and believe that he is a terrible teammate, while an athlete who wins a coveted award in her sport may minimize the importance of the award and continue believing that she is only a mediocre player.
Emotional Reasoning
This may be one of the most surprising twisted thoughts, as well as one of the most important to identify and address. The logic behind this thought is not surprising to most people; rather, it is the realization that all of us have bought into this idea at one time or another.
Emotional reasoning refers to the idea that your emotions are fact. It can be described as “I feel it, therefore it must be true.” Just because we feel something doesn’t mean it is true; for example, “I feel terrified about going on airplanes. Therefore, flying must be very dangerous.” Or, “I feel guilty. I must be a rotten person.” Of course, we know it isn’t reasonable to take our feelings as fact, but it is a common distortion nonetheless.
Should Statements
Should statements are statements that you make to yourself about what you “should” do, what you “ought” to do, or what you “must” do. They can also be applied to others, imposing a set of expectations that will likely not be met.
When we hang on too tightly to our “should” statements about ourselves, the result is often guilt and frustration that we cannot live up to them. When we cling to our “should” statements about others, we are generally disappointed by their failure to meet our expectations, leading to anger and resentment.