“Wow, my child is the most stubborn, inflexible, and rude human I know!”
As parents, we have all been down this road of negative thinking. This road is easy to jump on but very hard to exit. However, if we refuse to exit, we will NOT be able to connect in a meaningful way with our children.
How we think about our children, and even ourselves, largely shapes our relationship with them. The words we play in our heads directly affect how we treat our children.
For example, my daughter is very spirited and strong-willed. It is incredibly easy for me to begin to think of her in a negative light. I may think: “She is a monster who is demanding, rude and defiant.” In this case, my connection with her turns negative, and we have entered a negative feedback loop. If I do not change my thoughts soon, we can be stuck for days.
But what if she is demanding and rude?
Perhaps I can begin to think of her in a more positive light. Instead of being demanding and rude, I can understand that she holds high standards and is direct and honest.
In this case, my brain has more understanding of her and can exercise patience and have realistic expectations.
By changing my vocabulary, I can alter how I perceive my child and how others perceive her as well. This increases her self-esteem and fosters a healthy connection between the two of us.
The following is a list of commonly negative terms to describe children. How often do you think in these terms? Once you catch yourself, try substituting a positive word and see where your heart takes you!
Next, we will explore more ways to check our negative self-talk regarding our children.
Words Change Worlds
